What does an eighth-grader read?

ACADEMIC STANDARDS

When I started as a journalist, I was told to write to an "eighth grade reading level." Having no idea what was appropriate for an eighth-grader, I just wrote as simply and clearly as I could. At that time, I was more often graded up--experienced editors replacing my clumsy phrasing with one of those swift verbs journalists rely on (and sometimes overuse)--than down. With time, I've learned the key is consistency; if you're going to drop a ten-dollar word, you better spend heavily through the whole piece. That's why this lede perplexed me:

Even lionized super-presidents occasionally placed boneheads in prominent positions, and paid a price for it. A certain memo from Abraham Lincoln, donated to the National Archives by a private collector yesterday, reminds us of this. (my emphases)

I wager "boneheads" have never been so near to--or nearly--"lionized." I applaud the intent, but even ignoring the odd tense of the first sentence and the curious structure of the second, I find myself a bit bewildered. Will the tone be polished or populist? But then what follows for the next few grafs is merely Washington Post-pedestrian--flawless and sharp but lacking a distinctive style. Then we get a nutgraf that must have cost a fortune:

The memo seems a startling distraction to a president embroiled in a cataclysmic and bloody war. Thus it neatly illustrates one of the immutable laws of presidential politics then and now: Individual imbroglios fester at will, anytime, without regard for the deeper national crisis. (again, my emphases)

I know all these words. Heck, I would like all of them to come to tongue as readily as they seemingly do for Dan Zak. However, grouping them in one graf is like a linguistic firework finale. It sure as hell gets your attention--but it distracts from a fascinating story that is otherwise quite well-told.

AP Style Fact: Elementary school children and middle schoolers carry not just backpacks, but hyphens. From the moment they become "first-graders" to when they cease to be "eighth-graders."